Dear Medifast,
You should be very proud of me. Last night's "lean and green" meal was eaten at Cracker Barrel and I am happy to say that I made a very good choice. Grilled catfish and a side salad. YUM. That meal was the highlight of my day.
Our day 2 is off to a rough start, dear Medi. I decided to try your Peach Oatmeal for breakfast. I was able to ignore the fact that it developed a thick skin after microwaving because it smelled heavenly. Who needs their food to look good, anyway? I mean, it all looks the same on the way out, right? Let's talk about the smell of this stuff! Mmmmmm, it was like running through a peach orchard on a warm spring day (if peaches grow in the spring, which I am not sure they do). I couldn't wait to get this stuff in my belly (side note: I am starving). I shoved a heaping spoonful into my mouth and smiled. That smile was quickly exchanged for a grimace. Then the gag reflex kicked in and out went the oatmeal.
Medifast, how dare you pull the old bait and switch?! You made something smell amazing, yet taste like someone threw up peach oatmeal then served it to me. I feel deceived, Medifast, and frankly, you have hurt my feelings. As for a rating, this stuff gets 0 stars. If I could assign a negative number, I would. The peach oatmeal makes the mango cranberry drink look like a fillet mignon. Yes, it's truly that bad. And we shall never speak of it again.
I am catching on to your game, playa'. The book you sent me states something like this: supply a limited number of options and make those options less than desirable. A person will naturally eat less of an undesirable food (ya think?) and will take in less calories (i.e. starvation), resulting in weight loss. I guess the questions is, what do I care about more? Eating food that is semi palatable or losing weight quickly?
The evil metal box on the bathroom floor displayed 202 this morning. That's -3 pounds. Overnight. Yes, I know full well that this was all fluid loss, but I will take what I can get. Medifast, that -3 may have saved our relationship for the time being, but please don't get complacent. There has been another man vying for my attention lately. You may know him. His name is Nutri and from what I have heard, he's not as fast as you, but is much more enjoyable.
Fight for my love, Medi! Fight!
McFluffin
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